I hate french people

Note to self : Never ever drink French Cola* again …

I’m not sure what the slimy French put in there, although I’m thinking it might be smoked cigars, but the French Cola tastes awful. I tried it from French McDonald’s and some French restaurants in Paris and it’s just plain slimy old french awful !!!

However, there might be an explanation for this …
Did you notice the PEPSI colors ?

Coincidence ? I think not.

*by Cola, I mean Coca-Cola … by French Cola, I mean Coca-Cola from France.

God damn it, it snowed in France. In April.
I just posted about the French rain and the French clouds heard me and decided to send some snow too.

French snow is worse then French rain, although they do have the same lifting effect on the hairy nipples of French women.
French snow is white-ish, with a little bit towards a french slimy green colour.

What makes french snow so god damn worse then french rain is the fact that you can see everything floating around : dog poo, pubic hair, french pee, menstrual blood, and magnificent combinations between these 4 and cigars, croissants and berets.

God damn French Snow.

I’m not quite sure what they do, or how they do it, but even rain in France is slimy.
I might even say when it rains in France, it rains slime.

Disgusting, green, smelly slime.

French people love that actually, because it’s the only time they get to take a shower. In slime.
That explains the smells around Paris and why I feel a constant need to take a bath in New York.

God Damn French Rain.

This is currently the International Prank Day, and today you should have fooled someone in order to make yourself laugh.
It’s also the Make Fun of the French Day, and today you should have mocked and joked about some french people (like I did).

Anyway, the slimy French are getting tired of all the jokes against them, so they plan on making the biggest 1st april joke ever in future years. They plan on telling everyone on the 1st of april 2xxx or maybe 3xxx (replace xxx with digits) that they’re taking over the world.

Of course we all know that’s a very good joke and we will probably laugh out non-french asses off, but the French really mean it.
They do have this grand scheme to rule the world …

I guess they’ll do that with:
a) a deadly virus that infects everyone with the french special ability to surrender
b) cigars that make you a pussy
c) mind-controlling berets, that will be a fashion trend in the future

We’ll just have to wait and see The 1st of April.

Oh and … fuck France.
Oh and … april fools you french people. Or is it ?

This looks very much like the French aerial #2 photo.

I went the other day in a French candle shop in Paris, to buy some French slimy candles.

Well, here’s what I found out:

1. French candles either smell bad, either smell weird, or either stink. Those candles without scent or the ones that make your room smell fresh and nice are nowhere to be found in France.
2. French candles are sold in packs of five. A red one, a blue one, a white one (to complete the French flag colors) and another white one that smells awful, and yet another white one in case the French man or woman needs to surrender or runs out of white candles.
3. When french candles burn, instead of the usual wax that comes down from a normal candle, they drip some slimy gooey, yucky stuff, which I think is either French horse sperm (which would explain the smell) or old French slimy mayo.
4. Many French restaurants use either lightbulbs shaped like candles or foreign candles, because they lose all of their foreign customers if they put smelly French candles, although they gain a lot of local rude frenchies.
5. For French candles you usually need a beret, to place over the flame, in case things get out of control. French candles are indeed a fire hazard.

That’s about it for today.