Let’s analyze for France’s sake french people’s nickname: cheese eating surrendering monkey-frogs.

The first part I’ll assume it’s clear … french people are cheese-eating people. They eat cheese. Cheese is eaten by them. Stinky, smelly, disgusting cheese. They like to eat cheese in different shapes, like cheese on a stick, cheese from the ground, turd-cheese, cheesy cheese, eiffel tower shaped cheese, wall cheese, moldy cheese. It is said that french people don’t really have teeth, that’s just cheese stuck in their gums.
Also french people seem to be severely affected by cheeseburgers, which contain the only type of cheese french people don’t like, which is clean, healthy, properly cooked tasty cheese, melted on a delicious piece of meat.

The second part we all know … french people surrender. If you point your finger at them and say “Bonjour”, you don’t need to tell him to surrender, it’s in his blood. But if you do want a french faggy smoke, ask him for a cigar, and he’ll probably surrender that as well, unless it’s the last one, because if it is he’ll give it to you and offer to perform oral sexual services so you’d let him smoke half.

Now it gets interesting … the monkey part.
We all know french people are hairy, especially french women. French women don’t grow hair everywhere, but they do have titanic amounts in the groin area and the armpit area, along with moustaches. As far as I know men have only moustaches.
So hair is the first thing they have in common with monkeys.

The second thing french people have in common with monkeys would be shit handling. By shit I mean feces, also known as poo, poop, number two, dookie, crap, turd, dung, scat, spoor, droppings, doody, stool or as the french call it: food.
We all know monkeys like to shit in their hands then throw the projectiles at people in the zoo or at each other (both in the zoo and in the wild). That’s almost exactly what french people do too, only they’re not shitting at the zoo, they’re doing it on the streets which might explain why Paris is covered knee-deep in shit.

The frog part is due to their frog eating habits. The french enjoy a tasty froggie in the afternoon after the morning snail, and if I think about it, they enjoy all kinds of green slimy things, from diseased tree bark to toxic radioactive rats.
But I’m not sure if you can make the connection with berets. You see, berets were invented by frogs, frogs wore berets originally before the french started to do that too.
The final common thing frogs and the french have in common is skin color … we’ve all seen the green french people.

And that’s why French people are cheese eating surrendering monkey frogs.
If this post doesn’t make sense, you’re probably French.

No really now, how can the french say they have an army, when their soldiers look (and are) gayer then the United States gay soldiers ? Mon Dieu.
They’re as dangerous as a box of french tranquilized kitties. The only real danger when making a french soldier surrender is their hygiene. You don’t know what kind of disease you get from being close to a frenchman that shat himself.

Sure the french don’t give out candy or any kinds of sweets, they give dead frogs, onions and of course french garlic. Some of the more generous french people give out snail slime.

Of course every year among the french people getting disguised as something french-related, I see some really strange french people (even for french standards) …

French woman dressed as a french pudel. Awesome !!!

French gay burglars

Menstruating horny french lesbian werewolves

I dressed as a frenchman of course, with a fake moustache, garlic bling-bling chain around my neck, a striped shirt, the mighty french beret and lots of cigarettes.
It was a poor halloween because the french people I’ve visited didn’t understand I was wearing a costume.
Next year I’ll get a baguette costume.

Happy Halloween everyone !

Hot French Man-Flag

You see, some french people don’t have money for clothes. Actually that shouldn’t be a surprise knowing the amount of cheese, cigars and frogs the french consume each they. Anyway, a popular french solution to that problem is to become a flag. Not any flag though, the french flag !!!

Here are a couple of steps to help you become a very attractive french flag:
Step 1: Be very french.
Step 2: Try to stop eating garlic for just one day and start raising enough money blowing foreign gay people on dark alleys to buy yourself some blue and white paint.
Step 3: Grab a french knife, also called a chef’s knife.
Step 4: Be very french.
Step 5: After you’ve cut your balls off at step 4, use the blood to paint one third of your body in red (if you ate garlic, it would have probably been greenish).
Step 6: Make sure that dries, and the stench repels any nearby insects or animals. If it attracts french women, it’s good and you can proceed.
Step 7: Paint the other two thirds in white and blue. Make sure to have pretty straight lines so people won’t make fun of you !
Step 8: You’re ready to go out into the world and be a magnificent hot french fag flag.

You will probably look like that guy above. How hot is that ??? Oh yeah !!!
And not to mention patriotic !!!

In Paris (France) you can find lots of hot french man-flags. Go ahead, take your picture with them, show all your friends that YES there are people who deserve to be shot on sight, who are way gayer then you’ll ever be and who eat shit snails for breakfast.

Next time on the French Channel, you’ll learn how to be a French Douché !

French Armageddon

French Armageddon

French Armageddon

Haha. My new wallpaper.

Thank God.

See how they took off their slimy little berets and striped t-shirts and cigars to hide the fact that they’re aliens ?
You see how that frogger on the left closed his eyes and opened his mouth ? It’s because he’s in pain, he has no cigar smoke, he can’t breathe in our atmosphere. He opened the mouth so cigar smoke from the club can come in.
The slime-o is feeling pretty good, because he’s into S&M stuff, so having a near death experience gives him pleasure. Sick, disgusting, slimy french pleasure. And yes, the gaytardè is just gay. A gay french froggish alien.

Will be back soon with more french aliens.

I’ll remind you that you get to choose from these lovely slimy cheesy french people:
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