Cheese eating monkey frogs
I didn’t add “surrendering” because the title would have been too long.
Let’s analyze for France’s sake french people’s nickname: cheese eating surrendering monkey-frogs.
The first part I’ll assume it’s clear … french people are cheese-eating people. They eat cheese. Cheese is eaten by them. Stinky, smelly, disgusting cheese. They like to eat cheese in different shapes, like cheese on a stick, cheese from the ground, turd-cheese, cheesy cheese, eiffel tower shaped cheese, wall cheese, moldy cheese. It is said that french people don’t really have teeth, that’s just cheese stuck in their gums.
Also french people seem to be severely affected by cheeseburgers, which contain the only type of cheese french people don’t like, which is clean, healthy, properly cooked tasty cheese, melted on a delicious piece of meat.
The second part we all know … french people surrender. If you point your finger at them and say “Bonjour”, you don’t need to tell him to surrender, it’s in his blood. But if you do want a french faggy smoke, ask him for a cigar, and he’ll probably surrender that as well, unless it’s the last one, because if it is he’ll give it to you and offer to perform oral sexual services so you’d let him smoke half.
Now it gets interesting … the monkey part.
We all know french people are hairy, especially french women. French women don’t grow hair everywhere, but they do have titanic amounts in the groin area and the armpit area, along with moustaches. As far as I know men have only moustaches.
So hair is the first thing they have in common with monkeys.
The second thing french people have in common with monkeys would be shit handling. By shit I mean feces, also known as poo, poop, number two, dookie, crap, turd, dung, scat, spoor, droppings, doody, stool or as the french call it: food.
We all know monkeys like to shit in their hands then throw the projectiles at people in the zoo or at each other (both in the zoo and in the wild). That’s almost exactly what french people do too, only they’re not shitting at the zoo, they’re doing it on the streets which might explain why Paris is covered knee-deep in shit.
The frog part is due to their frog eating habits. The french enjoy a tasty froggie in the afternoon after the morning snail, and if I think about it, they enjoy all kinds of green slimy things, from diseased tree bark to toxic radioactive rats.
But I’m not sure if you can make the connection with berets. You see, berets were invented by frogs, frogs wore berets originally before the french started to do that too.
The final common thing frogs and the french have in common is skin color … we’ve all seen the green french people.
And that’s why French people are cheese eating surrendering monkey frogs.
If this post doesn’t make sense, you’re probably French.
January 8th, 2010 at 10:52 am
Oh my God, you guys are HORRIBLE!!! Seriously, you are SO judgemental! Im half French and half English, and this kind of website is compleatly uncalled for. Of, you hate French people, but you don’t have to go one about it for 2 pages critisizing every single french person. For all you know you might meet someone who is french who is really lovely, then you will realise how horrible this article really is. You obviously have met some french people, or one person who you really hate, who happens to be french, or you had a bad experience with a french person, but that gives you no reason to right such things. I currently have a horrible French teacher. I hate him so much, but that doesnt mean i suddleny hate everyone french. And to hate someone becuase they eat cheese, well that just cuz you dont like cheese, and are very immature.
I dont have anything against you cuz i dont know you, i just think you are someone who needs to get a life and start respecint people.
January 8th, 2010 at 10:52 am
*respecting
January 15th, 2010 at 3:10 am
That’s so lame ! Jeez ! It doesn’t make any sense !
January 15th, 2010 at 9:23 am
well said so, you really must be debile to write a similar blog! If not love you france, you release, it asks to stay! I LIKE FRANCE AND CHEESE THAT SUCCESS THEN YOUR REVIEWS YOU CAN KEEP YOU THEM NA! If the English and French aurrais not colonize the amerique, you are would not small *!
PS: for the info I’m not French but I like cheese that PUE!
FUCK
January 21st, 2010 at 9:45 am
So if ,personally, I’m a french who don’t eat stinky cheese, frogs or even snails, don’t smoke cigars, absolutly not gay and without a “moustache”… What I’m supposed to be?
By the way, nice blog, very really cool, because all the clichés are not totally false, and that’s good to read some texts about the things I hate – myself – about my country.
I don’t think you’ll take that as a compliment…
January 21st, 2010 at 3:17 pm
…nice english skills
January 21st, 2010 at 6:53 pm
I like frenchmen, they are very open minded, the only problem is they are perverts (and usually bisexuals :S). But they are nice people and beatuful wemen. The are not arrogan as they say, british people are arrogant, and ugly.
March 29th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
t’es qu’un connard d’anglais de plus jaloux des français comme tous les anglais qui transforme son incapacité congénitale à comprendre les latins et à s’en faire apprécier en complexe de supériorité dont on se branle royalement. Les anglaises sont chaudes et à londres, elles aiment nos bites plus que ton petit penis de blanc chauve. Mais au fond de ta mauvaise foi tu le sais. T’es content maintenant que tu t’es fait insulter gros con?
March 30th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
ah once again the stereotypes, just really beautiful I think.
I am still French, I have blue eyes, white teeth (yes real teeth), the long blond hair and I’m pretty slim … where is my resemblance to a frog or something else?
Also if you american you like cheese with no taste and loaded with fatty meat hormones as well!
But we have taste and I deplore France when the people my age eat mac donalds several times a week (see: super size me ^ ^)
I’m pretty proud of my country, certainly we too idiots (I think it’s the same everywhere) but we also have people that your beloved country (well we tried because you have destroyed everything) is democracy.
Oh yes and more in France can be free treatment which prevents you die soon as your home, there is less gay than you (this is not wrong to be gay) and in France it knows fun without taking risks. I also think that in France we do not put everyone in one basket (French term).
so good day and thx for your blog it’s just … comic