I hate french people

Q: What’s yellow and looks good on the slimy french ?
A: The advanced stages of cancer.

That’s Paris viewed from a satellite.

Notice how slimy and filthy that god damn city is. Why would anyone want to call this the city of love and why would anyone want to come here ?

God damn French people !

Gogu Kaizer asked:

Dear mr. Frenchhater, what the hell are you doing? Are you dead or
something? Did the slimy french kidnapped you? Did you kidnapped the
slimy french?

1) Well I was pretty busy wrestling the god damn slimy french.
2) Not dead. Yet.
3) Yes, the slimy french did.
4) They’re very slimy and hard to capture, but you don’t NEED to kidnap a slimy french man, because he’ll surrender anyway, and you don’t NEED to kidnap a hairy armpit french woman, because she’ll do you for free anyway.

Someone asked:

Hi !
I am canadian immigrant , and, my dreams is to come to live in French.
For this reason, I will reading your blog with much attention : I want
to know the dark side of France !
I am little confuzion : why you don’t muve in anodher country ?
Thank you !

I’ll excuse the english.
In my opinion you’re probably a secret french assasin that wants to know how much do I know of the french dark side.
I’m not going to tell you. Ever. French ever.

Why don’t I move in another country ?
Well my home is in the US, but I live most of the time in a rented place in Paris, because I work with french people all day.
So why move from the US ?

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog, and try to post better questions.

It is said in the Bible that men and women (and hermaphrodite children) go to heaven or hell, depending on how good or bad are they through life.
But in the French Bible it’s mentioned (somewhere in the footnotes) that French people go to the French heaven (a sepparate place, far better then the usual heaven), even if they’re good or bad.

So I did a little research to find out more about the mysterious hidden slimy French heaven, and I did find a thing or two about it.

The (Slimy) French Heaven is just like our Heaven … but with a slight twist, to make it deserve the “French” name.
Instead of fluffy white amazing clouds, in French heaven you’ll find smelly garlic clouds.
Instead of rivers with pure water, you’ll find the magnificent river of slime. A brownish-green french slime, not just any slime.
Instead of shiny gold gates to divide the heavenly zones, in french heaven you’ll encounter baguettes and croissants that form those boundaries.

If you’re not French, you’ll probably not last one second in French heaven, because it’s filled with cigarette smoke, so only French people can see and breathe in it. Also, the slimy French have their god, and yes, He’s wearing a beret.

And now you know how French heaven is like. Probably the French hell is like New York.

In case you didn’t know … all French people are artists. And all artists are French.

They do have stupid pathetic jobs like being a mime, being a French president or being a basic french gaytard (gay + retard). But they’re artists, so that’s ok. They say they see the world in a different way. Probably a gaytard way.

Have a look at the following artists. Don’t they look like slimy french gaytarded to you ?

Why do the slimy cigarette smoking french be artists ? And why do artist have to be so gay ?
Nobody really knows. No one really cares.

But you can’t move through Paris without seeing entire streets filled with berret wearing moustached french slimy gay mimes with striped shirts and shitty shoes, among the huge crowd of women with hairy armpits and the non-mime gaytards, the one with a canvas and a brush. It’s horrible.

Why doesn’t anyone nuke these bastards ?