Back again

Hey there, I’m back from my frenchhating vacation in the French Alps.

It wasn’t as cold as I expected but I managed to have fun somehow.

So expect new content soon, after I get rid of all this french spam.

Vive la France !!! No, not really.

French fact #40

All French people, sooner or later, will get something inserted up their ass.

French maid

French Maid

French answer

Tom asked:

I love your website, carry on, I think it’s a useful website and it’s
rather an interesting achievement. It reflects America in a sense and
I’m sure when America will end to collapse, we’ll remember not only
some great artists and great writers from America (don’t really know
which ones) but we’ll remember your website as well as a sign of
America’s frustrations.
Your anger and you hate sounds like a consequence of an envy, then
here is my question:
Since there has never been any severe recession in France and only few
French people have ever emigrated throughout the history (therefore,
they’re rather sure to not live with unfriendly people like you, who
are unlikely to be found in France btw), it shouldn’t make raising
such an envy in yourself and neither in people like you, how do you
explain such a jealousy then?
Many thanks for your
answer.

Well Tom I’ll just assume you are a moron.
You see … this blog is MY blog, not America’s blog. So this blog only reflects my own opinions on french people, which as you can see are worse then seeing a hairy french woman giving birth, and doesn’t reflect anything related to America (which is actually The United States of America, also known as the US, you froggie) or americans. Though most americans think French people are gay cheese-eating surrendering fags.

I live in Paris at the moment, and been there since I started this blog (with periodic trips back to the land of the free), and trust me turd-nugget, there is no jealousy and there certainly isn’t any envy.

I can’t seem to understand how the recession is related to my blog … why don’t french people make sense ?

Because he’s french

political-pictures-nicolas-sarkozy-smallest-violin

Cheese eating monkey frogs

I didn’t add “surrendering” because the title would have been too long.

Let’s analyze for France’s sake french people’s nickname: cheese eating surrendering monkey-frogs.

The first part I’ll assume it’s clear … french people are cheese-eating people. They eat cheese. Cheese is eaten by them. Stinky, smelly, disgusting cheese. They like to eat cheese in different shapes, like cheese on a stick, cheese from the ground, turd-cheese, cheesy cheese, eiffel tower shaped cheese, wall cheese, moldy cheese. It is said that french people don’t really have teeth, that’s just cheese stuck in their gums.
Also french people seem to be severely affected by cheeseburgers, which contain the only type of cheese french people don’t like, which is clean, healthy, properly cooked tasty cheese, melted on a delicious piece of meat.

The second part we all know … french people surrender. If you point your finger at them and say “Bonjour”, you don’t need to tell him to surrender, it’s in his blood. But if you do want a french faggy smoke, ask him for a cigar, and he’ll probably surrender that as well, unless it’s the last one, because if it is he’ll give it to you and offer to perform oral sexual services so you’d let him smoke half.

Now it gets interesting … the monkey part.
We all know french people are hairy, especially french women. French women don’t grow hair everywhere, but they do have titanic amounts in the groin area and the armpit area, along with moustaches. As far as I know men have only moustaches.
So hair is the first thing they have in common with monkeys.

The second thing french people have in common with monkeys would be shit handling. By shit I mean feces, also known as poo, poop, number two, dookie, crap, turd, dung, scat, spoor, droppings, doody, stool or as the french call it: food.
We all know monkeys like to shit in their hands then throw the projectiles at people in the zoo or at each other (both in the zoo and in the wild). That’s almost exactly what french people do too, only they’re not shitting at the zoo, they’re doing it on the streets which might explain why Paris is covered knee-deep in shit.

The frog part is due to their frog eating habits. The french enjoy a tasty froggie in the afternoon after the morning snail, and if I think about it, they enjoy all kinds of green slimy things, from diseased tree bark to toxic radioactive rats.
But I’m not sure if you can make the connection with berets. You see, berets were invented by frogs, frogs wore berets originally before the french started to do that too.
The final common thing frogs and the french have in common is skin color … we’ve all seen the green french people.

And that’s why French people are cheese eating surrendering monkey frogs.
If this post doesn’t make sense, you’re probably French.

I especially hate the slimy french cheese-eating surrendering monkey-frogs.
French Twitter